OK, everybody’s been slipping on ice. Let’s see what these ladies do.
After this charming, fatherly intro, a girl proceeds to do a full frontal body plant on the ice. The loving dad chuckles and says:
Oh, there goes one! Oh, that’s funny!
We’ve all seen the slips and trips and pratfalls so popular on YouTube in the style of America’s Funniest Home Videos. And we collectively laugh at the misfortune of the unknown victim. But today a friend of a friend of a friend posted a video on Facebook that took me aback. Parent Delighted by Kids Falling On Ice continued
Have you spent years struggling to make ends meet? Are you working at a job you don’t like? Do you work for a boss who doesn’t appreciate your true value?
Are you persecuted by the unjust, discriminatory way CEOs, movie stars, NFL players, and politicians rake in the dough while you slog around in the mud?
Your day of emancipation is here! It is your right to have career equality!
President Obama believes that all Americans (and non-Americans who live within American borders and maybe others, too) should be living the good life…as long as they “work hard.”
Still trying to wrap my head around this. But I’m so excited! Career Inequality No More – Obama Will Pay You to Be a Super Model!!! continued
Plan ahead for Obama’s 2015 State of the Union address by choosing your favorite activities and scheduling in advance.
- A root canal
- Being audited by the IRS
- Falling on scissors
- Being boiled in oil
- Cleaning a junior high boys’ bathroom
- Passing a kidney stone
- Swallowing a monkey whole
- Having your gums infested with fly larvae
- Stitching a six inch gash in your leg with a pocket sewing kit
- Signing up for Obamacare
Add your own.
Last weekend my daughter, Monica, performed in a musical theater benefit concert. The cast was stellar, the singing and dancing well done, and the production wonderfully entertaining. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening all around.
As I become more aware of problematic elements in our culture (and others), however, my perception also changes. Last Saturday, the song “Tradition,” from Fiddler on the Roof disturbed me in a way it never had before. I Hope She’s Pretty – Boys Will Be Boys continued
Sam and I started using coupon books (our local ones were called Happenings Books back in the day) when we were in college a quarter a century ago. Even though we are far away from our starving college days, we are still avid coupon users for our weekly date night. It’s an easy way to save money without spending inordinate amounts of time doing so. And every little bit adds up as long as the opportunity cost isn’t high!
Right now the Entertainment Coupon Book — personalized for almost every area in the US — is on sale for 2014 are 70% off with free shipping until December 30, 2013.
Note: the offer is not good until New Year’s Eve, but until the day before that!
Wondering what kind of deals they offer? Hop over to Entertainment.com and enter your zip code. You’ll see both printed and web offers available in your area.
Here are some examples from businesses I have patronized in the past from the coupon book for Utah:
- Utah Idaho Map Supply – $5 off $20
- Wallaby’s – 2 smokehouse meals + dessert for $16
- Los Hermanos – $5 off $15
- Arby’s – buy 1 chicken sandwich get 1 free
- Jiffy Lube – $6 off safety inspection
- Yogurt Bliss – Buy 1 menu item get 1 free
- Payless Shoe Source – 20% off
- Harbor Freight Tools – 20% off
- JCWs – buy 1 burger get 1 free
- Color Me Mine – free studio admission
- Office Depot – $10 off $50
- Hundreds more!
See if the offers in your area will net you some savings like they do for us. 70% Off Entertainment Coupon Book + Free Shipping continued
Boca Homeschool Choir (singing): Pinecones and holly berries. Popcorn for you. Apples for me…
Belinda (9): Who would pick apples over popcorn? Why do they get the popcorn?
While purging my hard drive, I came across multiple files that had Christmas jokes. I do not know why I saved these. I plead the 5th. But here you are, for your holiday enjoyment. Or something.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses.
Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa clues!
Q: What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
A: Santapplause! (Really) Stupid Christmas Jokes continued
You are the lucky beneficiaries of the purging of my hard drive. I did not write this. And even if I did, I wouldn’t admit it.
- Hang a stocking with your roommate’s name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it.
- Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
- Sing “All I want for Christmas is your two front teeth…”
- Make anatomically correct gingerbread.
- Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.
The holiday season is upon us!
It’s that happy time of year where people complain about “consumerism” and get their dander up about stores opening too early or too late and, of course, engage in the annual rag-on-Walmart-to-gain-progressive-cred moment.
This week the outcry has been against the horrid store owners that have let Black Friday creep into Brown Thursday — unnecessarily interrupting the making of the gravy.
Me? I just don’t care.
To date, I’ve not seen a sound argument for all this angst. And I’ve tried. So here I will present the best arguments I could gather and my responses to them.
Unless you’re too busy celebrating cyber-Monday, let me know what you think in the comments below. The Ethics of Business on Thanksgiving (and/or Other Holidays You Like) continued
Thanksgiving is a huge deal at our house. All holidays are. Traditions are sacred and all else must accommodate them. But given that I am not a fan of cooking and Thanksgiving revolves around food, this most lovely of holidays has been wonderful mostly in theory and a pain in reality.
A couple of weeks ago, Sam and I were out on a lunch date, when he noticed at flyer at one of our favorite restaurants. It advertised a we-bake-it-you-take-it Thanksgiving feast.
I laughed. We could never do such a thing. It would be sacrilegious. It would be offensive. It would be absurd. Like when the lady in The Blind Side — one of the best movies of all time, but still —serves up her lovely not-at-all-homemade Thanksgiving dinner and it feels like blasphemy.
But the more I thought about what it would be like to actually enjoy Thanksgiving again — like I did when my mom was in charge — the more I liked it.
So I went home and asked the kids what they thought, sure they would shun the idea of a change from the usual. And every single one said, “Oh, sure, that would be fine.”
Phhhtttt. Apple Cranberry Walnut Relish continued
Cleaning up my hard drive, I came across a list of Easy Bake Oven recipes that I had posted years ago on Themestream (an early version of a large group blog that shut down in 2001). I collected them from various listservs in the ’90s. Just before I trashed them, I looked around and found that Easy Bake Ovens still exist!
They are not your grandma’s easy bake oven, to be sure. (Or, er, mine.) But the cooler, hipper, dual-gendered (they come in purple or black) cooking devices are still on the market.
If you have one of these gems — or someone has one on their Christmas list — here are some great mini baking recipes to use with it at a fraction of the cost of the purchased mixes.
If you have any Easy Back Oven recipes of your own, please add them in the comments! Easy Bake Oven Recipes continued
[Both home sick from church — along with two other kids.]
Mom: Augh! You’re coughing on me!
Monica (16): Sharing is caring!
Do not start a blog with the intent to give parenting advice when you only have a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old. Unless the title of the blog is:
from Someone Who Knows Virtually Nothing About Parenting
When people don’t pay for their care, they don’t care how much they pay. How much bang do you really get for the government buck?
- 3 guys
- 1 month
- Evenings and weekends
- $0 taxpayer funds
- Functional, addresses consumer needs, new features being added daily
- Dozens and dozens of people (particularly cronies, contributors, and Michelle’s besties)
- 3.5 years
- Full time (on the books)
- $350,000,000 taxpayer funds
- Crash and burn, invasive, misdirections, security breaches
If I like it, it’s mine.
If I want it, it’s mine.
If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.
If I have it in my hand, it’s mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
If it’s mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
See the title, above.
That is currently the most common homeschooling question I get these days. (And, lest you are wondering, it’s almost always from people who don’t know my children, so it’s not a reflection on them.) This is followed closely in frequency by, “I need me time!” And then the mother (always the mother) cocks her head and wonders why my jaw has dropped to the floor.
It’s never about academics and not even about socialization. It’s about how can I “give up” so much precious scrapbooking and luncheoning time to educate my own kids.
Doing a bit of research for my post about starting a homeschool game club this week, I was taken aback. Again.
While I understand that a parent transitioning from public school to homeschool might be a bit overwhelmed with taking on more responsibility for socializing their children,* reading some current periodicals threw me back on what our culture really does to children, their parents, and the relationship between the two. How Can You Stand to Be Around Your Kids All Day? continued
A couple of months ago we added a grand new tradition: Belgian Waffle Sunday. Every evening, when all the family is done with their various church schedules, we gather together for a waffle fest.
This meal — much to the chagrin of the avid carnivores among us — includes some variety of waffle (I try to find fun, new recipes or modifications to try) topped with appropriate fruit and/or butter and/or syrup and sometimes whipped cream.
Today we had the pumpkin coconut concoction with sugar free syrup, blueberries, and a squirt of real whipping cream.
I purchased a Waring Double Belgian Waffle Maker (with a large family, double sided is a necessity) and couldn’t be happier. Pumpkin Coconut Belgian Waffles continued
My friend, Lori Willard, had a noteworthy experience this week. While riding in the car, her son was looking through the pictures from her recent romantic getaway to Hawaii when “the incident” began.
Jacob (6): Mom, you look fat in this picture.”
Jacob: “Yes! Wait, let me see you. Turn around.
[Mom turns to look at him for a second.]
Jacob: Oh, you are a little fat.
[Note from Lori: On a completely unrelated topic, our bathroom needs to be cleaned. I better assign that chore out to one of the children.]
Today a good friend of mine, Dana Anquoe — who has Native American heritage — posted this on Facebook:
i don’t understand why people feel the need to be another ethnicity for Halloween. I just…i give up trying to understand…
While she and others have posted about this issue in general in the past, In this case she linked to an article outlining how Julianne Hough was all get down sorry for being racially insensitive for dressing in “blackface” for a Halloween party.
Now I’m no fan of Julianne Hough. She’s a great dancer, an awful actress, and, well, that’s all I know about her. But the truth is, she wasn’t dressed in blackface.
What Blackface Is — and What Blackface is Not
Hough was dressed as a character named Crazy Eyes in some show I’ve never seen. And the character happens to be a black women, so she put brown makeup on her face to make her look more like the character she was dressing as. Kind of like, I don’t know, when people dye their hair red to look more like Lucille Ball or Napoleon Dynamite. (Oh, the offense we gingers must endure!) Ethnic Halloween Costumes – Honor or Offense? continued
Planning a wedding reception at home is a unique experience. We have a long list of things to do, to rent, and to buy. One of the most important was a chocolate fountain. It’s something the bride has wanted for years. So right after commissioning a seamstress to make her dream dress, finding the perfect chocolate fountain was next on her list.
In our quest for the perfect chocolate experience, we lucked upon a company that offers almost everything we need: Event Master Decor, located in Centerville, Utah. Although not close by, she came to our home, walked through the spaces, offered her considerable expertise, and a couple of days later presented us with a contract. One Stop Wedding Shop continued