[Sitting with mom, in the wee hours of the morning, guiltily watching the train wreck known as Toddlers & Tiaras.] Belinda (21): You know what’s scary about this? Mom: What? Belinda: These people can vote.
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[Sitting with mom, in the wee hours of the morning, guiltily watching the train wreck known as Toddlers & Tiaras.] Belinda (21): You know what’s scary about this? Mom: What? Belinda: These people can vote.
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[Looking up requirements for various Boy Scout merit badges online.] Samson (11): Mom, all of these require explaining. Mom: Yea. Samson: Well, I don’t really like explaining.
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[Overhearing the TV in the other room while studying.] Belinda (21): It’s not even 1:00 am. Why do they have psychic commercial on?
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Monica (14): Mom, who’s Eddy Murphy and Freddie Mac?
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Alana (18): Caleb, how tall are you? Caleb (8): Not telling. Alana: Seriously, Caleb, how tall are you? [pause] Caleb: Tall enough…to not use the stool in my bathroom and still get my toothbrush.
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[Riding home in the car from the family play-on-the-frozen-lake outing.] Caleb (8): When I burp after drinking soda, my nose steams up. [Gales of laughter from throughout the car.] Caleb: I’m serious!
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Alana (18): Caleb, get me a spoon. [Caleb (8) rolls his eyes.] Alana: Where did you learn to do that? Caleb: From yooooooou! Alana: Um. No. Caleb: Yeeeeees! I saw you do it. At the dinner table. At the Harmon’s house! [We rented Harmon's house when Caleb was six.]
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Alana (18): Mom, is it true that most college papers are eight to ten pages long? Mom: Sometimes. Some of my blog posts are that long. Alana: Yea, but they’re about things you like to write about! Like, “Hey, I hate cooking. Let’s talk about it.”
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[Watching a rainstorm through the dining room window.] Caleb (7): Mom, I knew it was going to rain. Mom: You did? Caleb: Yes. Do you know how? Mom: How? Caleb: I have senses. … Caleb: I’ve had them since before I was born.
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[Caleb sneaks up on his sister and spanks her.] Alana (17): Caleb! [Caleb laughs and runs out of arms' reach.] Alana: Caleb, why did you do that? Caleb (7): You’re just a girl who needs a spanking. Alana: Caleb, you don’t spank girls. In fact, if you spank a girl, she will probably slug you. [...]
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